Well, yesterday when I should have been working, I was listening to the latest Democracy Now! Podcast. And let me tell you, I was incensed. What is our government doing? Phone tapping without a warrant? How is it that they feel they can use fear to intimidate the American population to give up our freedom so easily? Do we really believe their lies? Do we believe this apparently unlimited power to “protect the American population from the threat of future terror attacks” is not terrorism itself? They have terrorized the American population into believing that this is necessary. And we, in turn, have quietly (and in some cases, not so quietly) handed over our freedoms. These freedoms that people fought and died for us to have seem to us less important than preventing another attack. But whose word do we have that these attacks are coming? We have the word of those who would like to have unlimited power to control the American population. So how long will this “war against terror” go on? Or will we be giving up our liberty indefinitely? When will the despotism end? When will we feel safe enough to demand our privacy back? And will it be too late then? I am ashamed, honestly and truly ashamed, of the hypocrisy of my government, speaking about freedom and democracy in the world, and then not ensuring that that freedom exists for its own people. And as the government continues to cut funding to social services and as a result impoverishes more of our people, and increases the funding for defense, the war in Iraq, and the reconstruction of Afghanistan, I ask you, when they are finished, what will there be left to protect? What will be left after the new nuclear weapons program causes a world wide escalation in the arms race? What will be left in a country that can spend billions of dollars to bomb foreign nations and much less to rebuild its own city destroyed by a hurricane? What will be left when the government is listening in on our phone lines, jailing those who dissent, allowing the environment to be destroyed and eroding women’s right to chose? Why are the priorities of the American people being defined by special interest groups and former CEO’s of companies that stand to make a fortune as a result of these priorities? How insidious is this government? Why do the religious beliefs of some begin to influence how we all must live our lives? What is happening to our Constitution, and the rights that I grew up being taught were so inherent to the American Ideal that they could not be destroyed? I feel that the current government has done more to destroy the American image and lifestyle than anything that has come before it. And I am ashamed that our people voted this government into office despite the indications that we should do otherwise.

Nothing New Under the Sun except...well, the sun.

Well, as of today I have been in Kazakhstan for 11 months. One month short of a year. Almost 1/33 of my life so far. Crazy. It doesn’t seem that long, but then it does. How is my Russian going? Well, it’s ok. Not great. Russian is a hard language. It is still winter here but the last few days have been so warm that the snow has melted and that means…MUD. And lots of it. The street leading to my house is not paved because of some construction going on (for some reason they tore up the asphalt and have never replaced it) and I have slipped and slid in mud over my ankles that last few days. But I know the cold will come back, so I am trying not to get used to it. Meanwhile, my heat is on and I can’t control it (it really is central heating, controlled by the Akimat, or local government) so all I can do is open the windows and wear shorts.

I have recently applied for a Rotary International Scholarship to study Peace and Conflict studies, which I hope I get because I do not want $100,000 in student loans. I am studying for the GRE in case I don’t get the scholarship. (The University of Bradford, which the scholarship would be for, does not require GRE scores because it is in England.) That doesn’t leave much time for anything else, with yoga and English club and a dog that keeps peeing and pooping on the floor. She actually made it next to the litter box the other day (I am trying to train her to go in the box so I don’t have to keep her in the crate when I go out. It is not going well…) We lost our English club location becase the U.S. cut funding to Kazakhstan and all after-hours activities were stopped.) So we asked KIMEP (it’s a University that does all classes in English) and I met with Nigel, who assumed I was a missionary. Our conversation went kind of like this…

Nigel: so why do you want to do this free English club?
Me: Um, because I am a native English speaker, and I think it will be helpful…
Nigel: Yes, but why do you want to do it?
Me: Because I am a volunteer. That’s what I do, volunteer.
Nigel: Oh, so the Peace Corps pays you to do this?
Me: no, I get paid the same whether I do this or not.
Nigel: Here’s the thing, KIMEP has a policy against missionaries…

I almost lost my shit. I look so “normal” that I am passing as a missionary. THAT has never happened to me before. Usually I get ladies at the check-out in the grocery store telling me that Jesus talks to them and he says that I have strayed from the flock…Or Hari Krishnas stealing my boots and following me around Los Angeles, trying to get me to join up just because I innocently asked them what they were all about..so, having cleared the air about religious ulterior motives and my lack thereof, I have a new English club location. Brilliant. That’s all the news I have right now…
Books I am reading: Fabric of the cosmos (I only understand about half of it, but the half I get is really really interesting…)
Music I am listening to: Fiona Apple’s new one, (thanks Haru!!!), Madonna, Deep Dish, some local DJ’s (DJ Timmofrey, Dj Gladky, etc)

What are you doing at 3am?

I can tell you what I am doing at 3am...I am taking a small puppy back and forth to the litter box in my bath tub. Usually she goes in the box. Sometimes she actually steps out of it to pee...Her name is Dora. After Dora the Explorer. (No, she doesn't speak Spanish...she just likes to Explore). I had decided last fall that this year I was going to get a dog. This desire was greatly increased when I realized that I could bring my dog back to the states with me as long as I had a puppy passport that shows that she has gotten all her shots. She is adorable. How did I get her??? So I have wanted a Borzoi forever, and they are super expensive in the states, but not here in Kazakhstan. If you have never seen one, they are beautiful. The have the same body shape as greyhounds, but have more hair. Very powerful runners, graceful, etc. So Saturday I was going to the doggy bazaar, and I was excited. But Friday night I got a call on the phone. My girlfriend had found a box of puppies on the ground outside her house, she was frantic, its freezing, can I take them for the night and then we can take them to the bazaar with us and give them away there. So I brought this box of puppies to my house, against my better judgement. Gave five wiggling puppies baths (they were sooooo dirty that I really did think they were all brown until I washed them and realized they were actually white and beige). And fed them. Then spent all night running them outside in the cold to pee, cleaning the floor, trying to get them to stop crying, etc. Needless to say, when the sun came up Saturday morning, I was not asleep, and I was not very happy. Not only that but one of the puppies had worms coming out of it when it pooped (alive worms which seemed to be pulling themselves out of him) which freaked me out. I called the health office at the Peace Corps to find out if I needed to take any medicine (no, just clean everything really well). Anyway, we got a cab and took the puppies to the bazaar, and paid a lady 1000 tenge to sell them (apparently she is going to sell them but she needs money for their food. See, in America, we would just give them the dogs and the money they make from selling them would be enough, but not here. Here, you have to pay people to make money off you...) I can't complain though because I was told that the fee would be much higher. We got back in the cab. Went home. No dog. We got there and Diana said to me...."We should have kept the curly hair one." She looked so sad. She wanted that dog. I looked at her face. I hate it when she's sad. I remembered how the curly one walked. How she seemed to hop. I remembered her curly tail. So cute. Ok. So we get back into the cab. We go back across town to the bazaar. We find the lady, and convince her to give us one of the puppies back, without paying her additional money. We take Dora to the vet to get rid of worms. So i now have a puppy. She is the cutest little thing. She is definately a mutt, but looks like she might be part pomeranian. We are not sure how big she will get, but someone told me that you can tell by puppies feet how big they are going to get. If that is true, so is going to be one tiny dog. Anyway, I wanted a big beautiful graceful Borzoi, and the Universe gave me a tinny furry ball of love...see how it works? You always get what you need, it just isn't necessarily what you think want!!!