Well, yesterday when I should have been working, I was listening to the latest Democracy Now! Podcast. And let me tell you, I was incensed. What is our government doing? Phone tapping without a warrant? How is it that they feel they can use fear to intimidate the American population to give up our freedom so easily? Do we really believe their lies? Do we believe this apparently unlimited power to “protect the American population from the threat of future terror attacks” is not terrorism itself? They have terrorized the American population into believing that this is necessary. And we, in turn, have quietly (and in some cases, not so quietly) handed over our freedoms. These freedoms that people fought and died for us to have seem to us less important than preventing another attack. But whose word do we have that these attacks are coming? We have the word of those who would like to have unlimited power to control the American population. So how long will this “war against terror” go on? Or will we be giving up our liberty indefinitely? When will the despotism end? When will we feel safe enough to demand our privacy back? And will it be too late then? I am ashamed, honestly and truly ashamed, of the hypocrisy of my government, speaking about freedom and democracy in the world, and then not ensuring that that freedom exists for its own people. And as the government continues to cut funding to social services and as a result impoverishes more of our people, and increases the funding for defense, the war in Iraq, and the reconstruction of Afghanistan, I ask you, when they are finished, what will there be left to protect? What will be left after the new nuclear weapons program causes a world wide escalation in the arms race? What will be left in a country that can spend billions of dollars to bomb foreign nations and much less to rebuild its own city destroyed by a hurricane? What will be left when the government is listening in on our phone lines, jailing those who dissent, allowing the environment to be destroyed and eroding women’s right to chose? Why are the priorities of the American people being defined by special interest groups and former CEO’s of companies that stand to make a fortune as a result of these priorities? How insidious is this government? Why do the religious beliefs of some begin to influence how we all must live our lives? What is happening to our Constitution, and the rights that I grew up being taught were so inherent to the American Ideal that they could not be destroyed? I feel that the current government has done more to destroy the American image and lifestyle than anything that has come before it. And I am ashamed that our people voted this government into office despite the indications that we should do otherwise.

Nothing New Under the Sun except...well, the sun.

Well, as of today I have been in Kazakhstan for 11 months. One month short of a year. Almost 1/33 of my life so far. Crazy. It doesn’t seem that long, but then it does. How is my Russian going? Well, it’s ok. Not great. Russian is a hard language. It is still winter here but the last few days have been so warm that the snow has melted and that means…MUD. And lots of it. The street leading to my house is not paved because of some construction going on (for some reason they tore up the asphalt and have never replaced it) and I have slipped and slid in mud over my ankles that last few days. But I know the cold will come back, so I am trying not to get used to it. Meanwhile, my heat is on and I can’t control it (it really is central heating, controlled by the Akimat, or local government) so all I can do is open the windows and wear shorts.

I have recently applied for a Rotary International Scholarship to study Peace and Conflict studies, which I hope I get because I do not want $100,000 in student loans. I am studying for the GRE in case I don’t get the scholarship. (The University of Bradford, which the scholarship would be for, does not require GRE scores because it is in England.) That doesn’t leave much time for anything else, with yoga and English club and a dog that keeps peeing and pooping on the floor. She actually made it next to the litter box the other day (I am trying to train her to go in the box so I don’t have to keep her in the crate when I go out. It is not going well…) We lost our English club location becase the U.S. cut funding to Kazakhstan and all after-hours activities were stopped.) So we asked KIMEP (it’s a University that does all classes in English) and I met with Nigel, who assumed I was a missionary. Our conversation went kind of like this…

Nigel: so why do you want to do this free English club?
Me: Um, because I am a native English speaker, and I think it will be helpful…
Nigel: Yes, but why do you want to do it?
Me: Because I am a volunteer. That’s what I do, volunteer.
Nigel: Oh, so the Peace Corps pays you to do this?
Me: no, I get paid the same whether I do this or not.
Nigel: Here’s the thing, KIMEP has a policy against missionaries…

I almost lost my shit. I look so “normal” that I am passing as a missionary. THAT has never happened to me before. Usually I get ladies at the check-out in the grocery store telling me that Jesus talks to them and he says that I have strayed from the flock…Or Hari Krishnas stealing my boots and following me around Los Angeles, trying to get me to join up just because I innocently asked them what they were all about..so, having cleared the air about religious ulterior motives and my lack thereof, I have a new English club location. Brilliant. That’s all the news I have right now…
Books I am reading: Fabric of the cosmos (I only understand about half of it, but the half I get is really really interesting…)
Music I am listening to: Fiona Apple’s new one, (thanks Haru!!!), Madonna, Deep Dish, some local DJ’s (DJ Timmofrey, Dj Gladky, etc)