Close of Service...

Please note that this was originally posted on my other blog Mar 2007. Please see: http://lulu-ahimsa.zaadz.com/blog/2007/3

Well, today is the two year anniversary of beginning my service in the peace corps in kazakhstan. it has me thinking about the optimism and idealism i arrived with, and has me wondering where it went…

Last week was my close of service conference, and we had sessions on resume writing, finding work, and how to fill out the boat loads of documents we will need to fill out to officially finish our service in kazakhstan. my last day as a volunteer is may 4, and it seems so close. it is hard to think that the place that has been my home for so long is now going to be part of my memories, my stories, my history, but not my “now”. now it is more important than ever to live in the “now”, but with all of the stuff i have to do, it is easy to slip into thoughts of “then” and “later”. my #1 priority is trying to enjoy the time i have left with the people and places that i have come to love…

i think it is also important for me to not “idealize” my time here. there have been things that i didn't like, things that fired my passion for social justice, and i think it will be very important to remember them so that i do not romanticize this experience. it has been amazing, but there were also things that bugged me, made me reaffirm my commitment to women's issues, poverty reduction and public health. a balance is required, like with everything in life, and i must actively search that balance out.

my girlfriend has her interview for her tourist visa for the summer in america. i am nervous but trying not to let her know, because she is nervous enough without knowing that i am nervous. if she doesn't get the tourist visa for this summer, than it looks like we will be staying in kazakhstan this summer. (i will be here until august, but then i need to go home and spend some time with my family before grad school.) leaving her is going to be hard, and break my heart. but i know we will figure something out. i know the universe will help me on this. it has to. my heart belongs with her. she is my home. so universe, if you are listening….

as for the rest, i am excited about grad school. i am excited to have access to vegetarian food, and a variety of vegtables (i thought the small town in florida where my family lives was low on vegetarian options, but in comparisson to kazakhstan, it is positively vegetarian heaven)… i am excited to see my family. i would love to introduce my girlfriend to my family. i want to take her to all the places i love to go…i can't wait to see the ocean for the first time in two years. i can't wait to be able to communicate fluently and be understood. i will, however, miss speaking in Russian, and Rus-lish, and being understood. ahh, but I still have time here…so i will enjoy it! (in between hours of paperwork, of course…)