Sad news..but new possibilities!!

Please note: this was originally posted on my other blog in Dec. 2006. please see: http://lulu-ahimsa.zaadz.com/blog/2006/12

Well, after waiting what seems an eternity, I finally found out that i did not win the scholarship I had applied for. I am upset, in that it would have saved me a lot of money, but not as upset as my mom is. I am still determined to go to school, I will just have to work for the rest of my life to pay off my student loans. The sad thing is I used all of my savings to fly home for the interview (the ticket from Kazakhstan was very expensive!! $1800!!) That's ok. I had such a good feeling after the interview, but I guess the feeling was one sided. This is the second time I have applied for a Rotary Scholarship, and the second time they have rejected me. (I applied in 1998. It was down to me and one other person, and he won by one vote because he had more volunteer experience. I now have tons of volunteer experience, but I think I am damned by my undergraduate degree in a very inappropriate field - Theater. I do have a lot of relevant experience, however, both working at the Rape Crisis Center and also the Peace Corps. But I think my degree in theater will hold me back…)

On the other hand, if I don't get into the schools I have applied to (only three, as I am afraid to ask my references to write anymore on my behalf…) than I will actually have to rethink my whole idea for my future. I do think of my friend who tried for 9 years to get into archetecture school. I probably would have given up, but she kept going. She is now in her third year, and loving it. Do I have the tenacity to wait 9 years?? No, I am too old. In nine years I will be thinking about retirement. Ok, maybe that is an exaggeration, but not too far off…

My new organization is ok. I am still not clear on what they want me to do. I think they want me to do trainings with students, but my Russian is not good enough to do that on my own. Maybe I can get someone to translate for me. One of the kids in my English club. We shall see. Thursday was my girlfriend's birthday. It was very nice. Tonight she wants to go dancing and I guess I wil have to go, even though I am just not into it. I did the dance-club-scene thing for so many years. Now it just makes me tired to think about it. Plus, clubs here in Almaty are not the best in the world. Although the music is better than I expected. But there are like 3 good DJ's in Almaty, so everytime you go out you are going to hear at least two of them. And its the same group of people, because the underground club scene here is so small. And people get sooooo drunk. And you can still smoke in clubs, so i come home smelling vile. I think I am just getting old. This is what I get for dating someone much younger than me. HA! Some possibilities I have been thinking about for my future: getting certified to teach English in Thailand and then teaching English for a year while studying for the GRE…Going home to get my MBA at a night school so I can immigrate to Canada and marry my girlfriend…trying to find international work (although this one seems very difficult as they expect everyone to have at least a Master's plus 15 years experience…) Doing the BUNAC one year visa for New Zealand…My friend is involved with a really cool project in Phoenix and he asked me to help him..although I am not a big fan of Arizona…The possibilities are endless…