VAGINA MONOLOGUES

Please note: this was originally posted on my other blog in March 2007. Please see: http://lulu-ahimsa.zaadz.com/blog/2007/3

On March 8, much of the world celebrated International Women's Day. Here in Kazakhstan, this event is kind of like Valentine's Day, where women are given presents by many different men in their lives. However, in many places, it is a day of activism, an attempt to shine a light on the oppression that still keeps 51% of the world's population from fulfilling their absolute potential… I celebrated by going to see the Vagina Monologues.

I have seen this play three times in the US, and I saw it three times last week. (My girlfriend was in the play, so…) First, for those of you who don't know what this incredibly powerful piece of theater is about, let me tell you. Playwright Eve Enseler interviewed over 200 women about their vaginas, and then wrote these monologues based on their responses. The play addresses how we view our bodies, how we love and don't love them, how we are treated, our periods, sexual abuse, lesbianism, violence against women, sisterhood, self-love, and so many other issues. It is incredibly moving, inspirational and powerful, and in my experience, has given a voice to many who would not otherwise have been heard. It has been shown all over the world, and has raised money for women's organizations the help victims of violence, fgm, poverty, lack of education, etc. If you are interested in more info, go to vday.org. You will not be sorry…

So I had tried to do this play two years ago in Kazakhstan. I asked my Kazakhstan country director (cd) of the Peace Corps. She said that she had just come back from a meeting with all the CD's from the region, and heard a story about this play. One girl in Uzbekistan had asked to do it. She was told no. She appealed to the highest PC authority, who at the time was Gaddi Vasquez. He said no. Absolutely not. She did it anyway and was sent back to America with a big “Administrative Separation” on her record. My CD, who had never heard of the play, asked what the play was about. The Uzbekistan CD replied, “A bunch of women sitting around talking about their vaginas”. Well, that is obviously not all the play was about, but even if it was, so what??? How many monuments to male power are there out there? How many monuments celebrating millions of men who died in the glory of battle? How many dead generals on horses fill up city squares? How many phalic towers and pillars as monuments to the power and strength of men? And women should be ashamed because they want to talk about, celebrate, love, enjoy their vaginas? Society constantly takes any opportunity to make women feel shame, anger, hatred towrads themselves and their bodies, and so anything that celebrates the beauty and joy of women should be encouraged... I had two years left of my service, and didn't want to get sent home. I didn't do the play.

But my girlfriend got involved with the play this year. A Canadian woman was working with an English langauge university here in Almaty to put the play on. We first heard she was cutting some of the monologues because of “cultural considerations”, and I was angry about that. I was futher angered when I found out that the director wanted to only admit women. That was later ammended so that only the first show was limited to women. But in the end, the show was fabulous. I am still upset that some of the monologues were edited out, but my girlfriend pressed to have one of the lesbian monologues included, and the director later said she was happy that they included it.

When I saw the monologues this time, I had an emotional response I didn't have the first time I saw the monologues. First of all, knowing that many of my girlfriends friends were coming to the show, many of whom are much more “liberal” than many of their countrymen, but still conservative, made me proud of her courage. Some of them “ignore” the fact that she is lesbian. Of course, she didn't invite her family. But I was so proud of her, doing these monologues, and fighting to get the lesbian monologue in the play. And seeing her up there…if i wasn't already in love with her, i would be all over again…

Secondly, when I saw the monologues in the states, I was incredibly moved. But since then, I have worked in a domestic violence and rape crisis center. Before, I felt this “universal grief” (my girlfriend's comment) for women who go through rape. But now, I have faces and memories that are attached to that violence. I have held hands, gone to court, supported women while they struggle to recover from what women spend all their lives recovering from. Listening to the sweet sad voice of my girlfriend doing a monologue about rape, violent and terrible, left my heart raw, and I could not stop crying. This play brought back all the sadness I felt, the anger, while working at the center. I remember in particular the first time I accompanied a woman to the hospital. She had cancer, was HIV+, and had just been raped. During the exam, she was offered the morning after pill but refused because she was pregnant. She was refusing chemo for her cancer because of the pregnancy; she wanted to give her boyfriend her baby before she died. And this woman was comforting me, telling me I was doing a good job on my first accompaniment, stroking my hand in support. I am humbled before these women, so many of them, too many of them, who have these hugely violent and life changing experiences, and just pick up and get on with the business of living.

Eve Enseler has said that women who are raped spend the rest of their lives recovering from the rape, and we have better stuff to do with our lives. I agree. We do have better things…

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